Real Life

Where I Meander Through Whatever Goes On In My Head

I make it a point to talk about Ramadan every year but this year I didn’t because I have been beset by this strange sense of ennui. I think job hunting along with being soul crushing makes one question one’s worth and the self-esteem suffers considerably in those kinds of situations. However, it’s Ramadan and I am fasting from 2:45 am to 9:30 pm daily and you know what? It’s difficult. I know you’re supposed to keep a stiff upper lip and not admit how difficult each day is but I think that the other way is better. I admit that each day takes a toll on me but each day, difficult as it is, makes me even more determined to fast.

I have also being preoccupied with what’s happening in Gaza. I don’t know why the rest of the world is silent on the genocide occurring there. People in North America seem so eager to live in ignorance, celebrate their oblivion but I can’t look at those pictures of the dead and bleeding children, the videos full of the suffering of the innocents and pretend I have never seen that. It’s not easy for me to see those pictures and I don’t relish the blood and I don’t feel like sharing them on social media but I think if I don’t, I think if I too click past and pretend I haven’t seen them, I, too, am complicit in what is happening to them. I am contributing to the suffering and pain of the people in Gaza by my silence. And I refuse to do that.

This is not about religion. It never was.

Wow, I didn’t mean to go off on this tangent. but it probably explains why I haven’t been able to settle down and read. The desire to read is there but either I’m too hungry/thirsty to read or I am too tired. I really need this heat wave to go away so I can pretend to be human again. Ramadan ends somewhere around the 28th of June and job hunting…well, that’s an ongoing process. I have scheduled reviews for the rest of the month so I won’t be gone entirely and I will try to schedule some Art Spotlight posts because I love those and want to share them.

I have started about 4 or 5 novels and just not continued with them. I did read The Changeling Sea by Patricia McKillip and loved it. I started two of her books but honestly, they’re beyond me at this point. I also read a bit of The Secret Hum of a Daisy before putting it down. Too early to say how I like it but it’s about the relationship between the gruff grandma and the orphan granddaughter. I’ve also read a bit of Beauty Queens but put that on hold as well. I started Gone Girl today and it seems interesting and I will complete it sooner or later. I also have ten books on hold at the library – most of them graphic novels because books with pictures are fine.

I figured the one way to make myself on all things graphic novel-ey is to read as many of them as I can in as wide a variety as I can manage. There are some things I can’t do – like Marvel comics with the women in skimpy clothes. I just can’t do that. However, other stuff I am willing to try providing there are no gory bits. I hate gore.

I also love graphic memoirs. I find them an effective way to get the story across – especially if they are travel memoirs.

Moving on to what I’m most excited, book wise, in the next few months would be tied between Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater and The Witch With No Name by Kim Harrison, the last book in the Rachel Morgan series. Speaking of series culmination, I realized that I have this bad habit of not finishing series so I think I’m going to set myself a challenge to do exactly that. I’m reading a number of series that have ended and I just need to go back and read the last one so that’s what I’m going to do. I think I’ve talked quite enough for one post. Thanks for giving me your attention.

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3 thoughts on “Where I Meander Through Whatever Goes On In My Head

  1. Hugs, Nafiza. I know how frustrating job-hunting can be. I’m on the same boat.
    And, I don’t get why nobody’s talking about what’s happening in Palestine. It’s not even a war, it’s genocide. And everybody’s only going raving mad about the World Cup. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I wish that being over enthusiastic about one thing wouldn’t mean that you turn a blind eye to the other. There’s so little coverage about the conflict, it’s appalling.

    I hope you can get into reading, though. It helps. I’m trying it after a long time. My M.A was so time-consuming, I hadn’t had time to read anything beyond my course, but it’s over now and thank god for books. Definitely helps in getting through the existential crisis-phase.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awww In Sha Allah you get a job soon bub.
    I have been there, know what it is like.
    As they say, “Good things take time”.
    Do dua and Allah will grant your dua, I will do dua for you as well xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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