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When the Rejections Come Pouring In

I wonder if all writers come to a point in their (invisible, allegedly nonexistent) careers where they wonder:

“Who am I kidding? I am no writer.”

Because I feel about an inch tall and I reckon I have reached it.

I have a tendency to keep these things in because who wants to read about my insecurities but I suppose I have reached a point where writing this down and having it in words staring accusingly at me from the screen will be some kind of masochistic catharsis.

I mean, what if I am kidding myself and have no business trying to be a writer? What if I cannot write at all and these constant rejections are simply assurances of that fact? The evidence of my inability to write something that people will take a risk on is undeniable.

Maybe I should have listened to that prof who told me I had no business writing.

Okay listen, I am not saying this to gain pity. It’s just that…I am tired? Maybe that’s it. And there’s no one around me right now who gets it so I figure the computer screen will do.

I am going to be horrified I wrote this in a little while. I am sure. I don’t like being this vulnerable to anyone but ah, damnit.

It hurts.

I should have done accounting or something. Heh.

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6 thoughts on “When the Rejections Come Pouring In

  1. Thank you for writing this, it really helps others who are going through the same thing to know they’re not alone. Creative careers can be lonely and painful, putting yourself out there day after day and getting burned again and again. I can’t say it will get better, but at least you’re not in this alone.

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  2. Basically, this is how I feel every day. And I know from personal experience that you CAN write, so lack of talent is not it. I think it’s just hard, and arbitrary, and tough. I am in the depths of that tiredness—exhaustion, I guess—when I’m thinking maybe I should just pack it in and get a job at, I don’t know, Target or something. (I’m really good at organizing shelves. Sometimes when I’m shopping I do it just for the heck of it.) But I keep at it, for some reason, because I know there are a lot of people who DO give up on it, and if I remain stubborn and persistent maybe I’ll win by attrition. Keep going.

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  3. Nafiza: you *are* a writer. By no means do you need anyone’s approval to be one. Words pour from your fingertips and onto the page, onto the keyboard, onto every surface you touch. You are a writer, and I am too, and no one can take that from us. It’s difficult facing obstacle after obstacle, but I personally feel that one thing that seems to differentiate writers from others is that we never seem to know when to stop. Keep writing; we need your words in this world.

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